Soul heart

A magical heart
turns to kryptonite
at the sight
of failures
left unknown.
"But it's not failure,"
says the other part,
of my broken, frozen soul.
The warmer part
turns pink
with laughter
for time does not exist.
"And lessons learned
bring peace of mind,"
says the old soul to her kin.
These two halves
create the whole
together
they understand.
Life is not
a scheduled thing,
but a mystery
solved at whim.
Sometimes this whole
rests very quiet
pondering the pieces.
Memories
give flight
to imagination
and create a space;
home.

To my future...

I wanna lay around on a Sunday, listening to Alan Watts talk on spiritual love and letting go.
I wanna talk to you about everything, and know what you think, how you feel;
I could pick your brain all day.

I wanna make you dinner and homemade bread,
I wanna argue with you, debate in a non-heated way;
I'll consider your side of the argument, cause you're so damn smart (it's hard not to).

I wanna travel to outer space with you, just to see your face,
I wanna watch you, your expressions, as you take it all in;
I want you to tell me all about it, tell me what you see.


Sometimes I don't wanna talk at all;
instead, we'll sit on the couch and snuggle.
Maybe watch a movie, something horror (you know how much I like horror).

Then I wanna be really quiet,
let our hands, mouths and bodies do the talking.
Let's share in new experiences; there's no boundaries we can't break.

If it's time for us to part, should you meet someone new,
then I will trust that our time has been spent.
That we shared in something amazing, once in a lifetime, can't be denied.


Because from this relationship,
I've learned so much;
I've learned to be free, to be my whole self.

You were my teacher, friend, lover;
I'll still be your best friend, lover, mother, sister.
Together, we had the full experience of, each-other.

Woman of your dreams

I'll be the woman
who knocks you down to nothing
then picks up your pieces
just to show you
how amazing you are.

I'll be the woman
who adores you
your sex slave
your best friend
who picks your brain apart
and asks more questions.

I'll be the woman
you can depend on
to be strong when you
are not
to explore this world with,
dive deeper than
you've gone before.

I'm the woman
you can relate to
who knows you
understands the hidden parts
of you.

I'm the woman
who hides herself too
sometimes
when it seems
everything is too much
and fear overtakes.

I'm the woman
who cries at loneliness
only by herself
while waiting for
compassion
true understanding
unconditional love.

I'm yours,
just ask
and you
shall
receive.

About time

Time is an illusion, created by our enemy,
the enemy of the self
Time is our obsession, created in his image,
the keepers of time.
Time is not our friend, created to make us doubt,
the possibilities that truly exist.
Time will bring us down, created for selfish reasons,
there is so much more.

Beat down the illusions of time
The universe is yours to take

Coming together

As you come,
take me in
take my soul
take my roots
breathe me in

Feel my heart
feel my pain
feel the rush
of our fates
breathe me in

As our bodies join
intertwined
in this place
feel this space
take me in

While the world
spins outside
let it burn
feel this space
take me in

There's no need
to hide
let our wounds
collide

Take my breath
leave me still

For Someone Special

"It comes in threes," said she.

But that's a lot for me.

My life is not a tragedy,

But an open book of seas.

I'll set sail at the highest hour,

And be home with a bouquet of flowers.

If you tell me how to climb the towers,

And pierce your heart with golden showers,

Of sentiments of love and fate.

But it'll be a reason to set a date.

Poor dear, if my alarm should be late,

But darling please, don't hesitate,

To catch mine eye and linger no more,

And if I ne'er should reach your shore.

"To thine own self be true," go explore.

And my time will come, nevermore.

Genocidal mania or feelings on Syria/Palestine

"Hark!" declares the angel of death
as he tramples forward,
collecting debris,
of women and children.

Their faces contorted,
by the wretched stench of waste,
the smell of blood and burnt remains.
Will it ever stop hurting?

"No more!" I shout to the world,
while they ignore,
trapped in their own boxes,
afraid to see what's real.

Like organic matter decomposing,
in a cesspool of ancient lies,
my body yearns for truth.
When will the masks come off?

"I'm finished!" I say!
let me leave this world.
Transfixed on another realm
as I walk towards a fading light.

There is no more time,
for it has now expired.
We are running out of breath
drowning in yesterdays sorrows.

"Goodnight," I whisper,
to the crying children,
their mothers holding them tight.
Perhaps we'll meet again.

What if

What if the world wasn't
so full of hate?
what if we helped
instead of
making orphans?

A society of homeless
destitute
broken and neglected
licking their wounds
afraid of being rejected.

What if we created
a loving space
safety
happiness and caring
real compassion
in the midst of chaotic
zones of confusion.

No one has the answer
to the question,
'why are we here?'
so why don't we just be
one?

What if we connected?
on a level of consciousness
that broke down barriers
and let us see
we are the same
we are one
race of human beings.

We are
human beings
first.

Self-Inflicted, a short piece on taking responsibility

"Look inward," she said,
"Get out of your head!"
as the veil came slowly dripping down;
new horizons wait for the conscious mind.

The Illuminati scares,
creates a fog over stuffed houses;
material wealth affixed
upon a menagerie of scarlet hearts.

Nowhere to place the blame,
in a reality that is cold and broken;
fix it with your own,
sense of hope and understanding.
 
There is only one answer;
"look inward," she cries.
Before it's too late,
your self-destruction awaits.

 

Walls

Baby, you make my walls
come down.  I'm out
in the open, naked.

The feelings you bring are honest.
They force me to look,
from a different perspective. To
look into my depths and see all.
The good, the bad and the beautiful.

Those walls are made of brick, they're thick.
The big bad wolf
couldn't blow them down. But you came.

My heart is paper thin, a facade
of stainless steel. So please be gentle, engage.
Be stronger, than I ever can.
Don't push too hard, be aware
I may separate sometimes, but I'm still here.

Why do we separate ourselves?
Especially from love.
From all other living beings.

As I gaze into those deep, gray eyes,
I feel the urge of the collective consciousness.
It overwhelms to tear down it's walls
and let the light in.  Let in
the love, and let, be.

The system

They tell us its for
the collective,
but we don't really feel
connected.
Pulled too young from your mother's sweet nectar,
forced to succumb, the formula is better.

Then we stop
Take a minute to address
The issues at hand
Realize their plan
Distraction!

Media faces daze us,
they talk about ways
to avoid PMS.
Look! A new diet on the market,
While black
children
become the target.

So we pause
Contemplate questions
What's going on?
How did we get in this mess?

As our organs drown in GMO violence
We beg the electors,
'please just give us a chance.'
But they don't listen;
rambling words, dribbling nonsense.
Time to stand up,
bring on the storm, united as one.

As the anarchist clock ticks down,
speak
rise
above
the rest.

Playing with Pantoum

Can we go now?
Is it time?
Let's have an adventure,
Let's drink some wine.

Come on, it's time to flee,
Beyond Napa Valley, up the Oregon coast.
We'll drink lots of wine,
Do our best, make the most.

And beyond Napa Valley, along the Oregon coast,
We'll settle on the beach.
Do our best, and make the most of
Our time; don't you agree?

Word Cloud Poem

Is it fate?
To maim those others
Make them walk
What an awful gait.
Are we harrowed by
This beautiful thing called harmony?
Why do we exterminate?
The sparrow and the meadowlark cry
Ask forgiveness
Plea for better times.
This game is a farce
As I contemplate arsenic
Do sentient beings lie?
There must be something more.
Eliminate wars and famine
Take a moment
To examine
All the worlds' hate.

~HB

Solving the world's problems one post at a time.

  

Imagination

In the secret spaces, secret spaces of our mind.  The place where none can go; it's where I like to hide.  A mirage of existence before me, and an eternity inside.  Do we die?  What are these particles that make up my being and is this what makes us real?  I don't think so; there has to be magic.  Life would be so tragic without it.  Science is magic, but science can be so indifferent.  Science can be impersonal; then also sometimes wondrous.  Quantum physics resonates and moves me.  Little spaces in the brain that no one can touch.  That no one can really understand.  Such a minute existence on a quantum scale.  On a universal scale, infinitesimal is the vast space that we barely fill.  Imagine tiny universes inside each cell; imagine our whole bodies are really bits and pieces of galaxies or universes.

Imagine.

Death Fantasies

I often imagine my death.  Something tragic, like a movie playing out, or a great story. Sometimes it happens while I’m in the shower.  I leave the door open - as I often do - and a dark stranger, or maybe an angry ex-boyfriend creeps into my home, quietly.  They kill me with a knife; death by shower scene, classic Hitchcock.  Or perhaps I am shot?  Do they use my own machete that sits close by where I sleep, or perhaps the baseball bat in the corner?  That would be gruesome and mildly ironic. 

Other times it happens in the car.  I’m t-boned by a drunk driver, smashed into nothingness, into breathlessness.  It is never my own doing, exactly, that brings about my doom.  Though it would seem, as I sit at the same job, in the same uneventful life, afraid to move forward, that I am indeed the responsible party.  Could my morbid fascination with hypothetical death fantasies be nothing more than a subconscious fear?  A fear that has gone for so long unaddressed as I sit in wait for the future that is to come?  And while waiting, I miss out on what could be; I sit idly in my discontent.  Though I know I am not alone in this waiting game, it still sucks, and the loneliness of it gnaws away at my being.

People that are deemed as the ‘greats’ of the world, do you think they felt the same longing?  Do you think they wondered when life would ‘happen’ to them?  The intermittent transformations that slowly evolve us into something new and hopefully better.  I wonder if they noticed these, or were they always just ‘great’, happy and content with their life situation.  This could easily lead to a rambling about the meaning of humanity, so I'll just stop there.  Happy hump day.

~HB

Solving the world's problems one post at a time.

  

The Office

Where do I begin?  It's the most uneventful experience..wait, let me digress, the average day in the office is dull and cumbersome.  Now and again, you get your quacks, the real weirdos.  I once witnessed a woman have a split personality spasm - first she was a flowery artist, then a GI Jane, then a divorcee with multiple aliases, struggling with a new-found relationship and a new last name.  Her tone varied and her facial expressions morphed right before my eyes with each squeak and squawk of her voice.  Others have been drug users, too stoned to comprehend the basics of what they needed to do, twitching as they attempt composure, their physicality reeking of meth use.  Of course, on those rare occasions, people are very pleasant, very 'normal' and kind.  Witty or lighthearted banter abounds with these few and, it's on days like this I truly appreciate what I do; when I am truly working and helping or guiding, is when I feel best about this job.

Despite endless restraint and contradiction from the powers that be, I always attempt to put customers first.  Meeting their needs, after all, should be the ultimate goal in a customer service driven market.  And that is what we are in, I am told, after a thorough two hour training session, aka sensitivity training.  Customers are the top priority and customer service will be the key to our success.  I call bullshit. There are more important things than just customer service...like quality?  Of which, we have little to offer.  There is some hope on the horizon as old faces fade away and new minds come into positions of great power and decision making.  With these new people come positive ideas - better ideas - that might help us see true progress.

Until that time comes, however, bureaucracy reigns supreme.      

For M

With each brick I slowly added a wall; a difficult barrier to break down.  But yours is a love that is patient and kind.  You are forgiving.  And see beyond flaws; see something beautiful in me that I can't understand.  I've let myself embrace you, in a way that is so rare for someone like me.  Let my guard down, been so open and present; I thought it wasn't really possible to find in a partner that kind of connection.

But then I built up the walls and nearly broke us.  And am hopeful that together we can bring it back - the childish fervor of freedom.  That lack of concern for anything else in the world.  That ever-present sense of being.  Life does happen and can get in the way; but I don't want life to be all about the 'stuff', the 'responsibilities' and material, external world.  I want it to be about the secret conversations when we're alone, the dreams we share and bask in, the songs we sing together, the little details of ourselves that we share in common; you're tender kisses and warm hugs - so inviting, so nonjudgmental.  The way you look at me.

My promise to you will always be to make an effort; to do my best in recognizing my issues and working on them.  To not shut you out, and to give in return the most wonderful gift that you have given; friendship and true love.  You are my best friend, a dear friend; that once in a lifetime chance at something real.  I won't screw it up.


~HB

Solving the world's problems one post at a time.

First post of 2015

It's time to regurgitate. Something has happened. Over the last few months, maybe longer, I've become closed off. There was a brief period of time that I felt open and free; that I felt like I was beginning to understand life and appreciate it. There is so much that I've allowed to muddle my view; make it shades of black and gray, full of dread and discontent that leaves a person nearly hopeless. I see myself reverting back to that state of being, a state I never wish to be in again. It's easy to do in such a hate filled world.

I often wonder how people go on living, while some children sleep in the cold, people watch as their homes are destroyed by human and nature, atrocious acts are carried out by humans against other humans, like torture, or while the earth continues to spin, bits of the universe continually discovered and we are no more closer to understanding our true purpose here.

But I guess the thing to remember is that we all create our own universe.  I know that if I put positivity into the world around me, sharing it with others, well...this is all one can do right?  For I am one mere human among so many others.

So I hope and pray with you all tonight - for those that also do and for any that care - for a better tomorrow. May we rejoice in the good moments in our lives and someday learn to (co) exist peacefully together as humans, all of us. I love you all.

~HB

Solving the world's problems one post at a time.