Shopping Mall Reality

Awkward noises fill my ears.  I can’t seem to break through the fog of the city and find my place.  As I wander around this shopping mall, I see empty faces.  My senses are overwhelmed by everything, taking in each smell and sight.  I’ve been here before, but yet it seems so new.  Like I am a foreign student, hailing from a small village where modernity has not yet veered his path.  Is it possible to lose touch with the world in such a short period of time?  I feel lost in this place.  I feel like I don’t belong here, like I never will.  This culture of buying seems ridiculous, cold even.  They’ve lost touch with reality, or perhaps just changed it.  A father stands, hunched over on his cell phone, as his wife plays with the children on a plastic play set in the middle of the food court.  What could possibly be more important?  People buy overpriced garbage from name brand stores, all made in foreign nations.  The ambiance is not relaxing, rather unsettling; but it seems I am the only one to notice.  It feels like a dream, or maybe a nightmare, something I cannot break from.  I just want to go outside and breathe. 

My pace quickens as I move closer to the nearest exit.  I push the door and frantically rush to my car.  As I body slam the passenger door, my lungs finally react.  How will I ever find my place in this world?  I cradle myself and sit against the car.  It seems like days pass before I come to, get in the car, and head home.

At night I sit in the backyard.  Cars drive by; some slowly, but most fast and loud.  To my left and right are homes, places of security.  No lights appear to be on anywhere.  Families are fast asleep.  It’s late.  I should go inside and try to rest myself.  But the night is beautiful.  The moon is full, absolutely wondrous.  I wish to go back to the ‘wild.’  It’s difficult to not be so negative.  I feel like I am drowning. 

I cradle myself and whisper softly “This is not my home.  This is not my home.  I do not belong here, I don’t belong here.” 

~HB

Solving the world's problems one post at a time.